Monday, March 2, 2009

Finding Myself

I am feeling so lost in this little world of ours. I heard that sometimes you have to lose yourself completely, before you can find yourself. Life is such a difficult game. I cant imagine how much harder it could be without our loving savior. I know that our heavenly father cares about each and every one of us. I can really feel the pull of Satan tugging on me like he has never done before. I know that the force of Satan is the strongest right before, and after your mission. I just never imagined it to be this hard, everyday I face a new difficulty. As he pulls at me, and tries to push me in the wrong direction, the more I want to do what is right. Every time he pulls and pushes me though I feel a part of me falling away. Each day seems to get darker, and scarier. I love my heavenly father so much, and I know that he cares much about me. I just want Satan to leave me alone, I feel like a mess right now, and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I love having personal prayer with our heavenly father to keep me focused on the right path. I love writing in my journal, although I don't do it often, because every time I write, I have the savior in my thoughts.I am so excited for the time to turn in my mission papers, and can not wait to get on the mission field. "For behold the field is white already to harvest, and lo he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might the same layeth up in store that he perisheth not but bringeth salvation to his soul" (D&C 4:4). I am so glad of all the things I have been blessed with. I know that our heavenly father cares, and wants us all to return to him someday. No matter how bad Satan tries to tempt us, he has no power over us. I love the gospel, and I try to live by it the best I can. I cant wait to find myself on my mission.

8 comments:

Katrina said...

Troy you are stronger than you know...

Spence said...

Troy, the Lord prepares his servants to do his work. He is giving you opportunities to grow. Don't ever doubt yourself. There is no reason to. You are an awesome person. And people look up to you. You will be a great missionary.

Angela said...

I think you are in a hard stage of life, with so many important decisions to make about your future, it makes sense that the adversary is working overtime on you right now. Look up D&C 90:24. (See, you are a good person doing the right things and pretty soon you will be able to look back and see how well everything worked out for you.)

Sher said...

Thanks for posting our honest thoughts, Troy. I think you'll agree with me that doing that is theraputic. I've been there sooo many times.
You have a beautiful testimony, and you will make a great missionary.
Sometimes, you just have to say, "Satan, you have no business getting in my head, so bugger off!"
Keep yourself busy. Find people to serve. And know that you are most definitely NOT the only one feeling this week.
Love you!!

Sher said...

feeling this way...is what I'm meant to say.

Cute Family said...

Troy, you are amazing. I am so proud of how much you've changed and grown up in the last year!

Heidi said...

Troy, I am so proud of how much you've progressed since I first met you. I really look up to you in a lot of ways. Thanks for sharing your testimony with us.

Nick and Stacey said...

Troy you know I love you and care about you, and if there is anything that I can do for you I will! You are such a great guy, and wonderful to everyone around you, no matter their situation. You have such an un judging heart, and I am grateful for that! Love You!

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